Relationship Support
Some relationships seek support to improve communication.
Others pursue assistance because a connection they desire feels impossible to reach.
Jess works with couples facing ongoing conflict, emotional distance, trust repair after betrayal, power struggles, stress related to work, parenting and/or "doing life," and managing diagnosis like ADHD or Autism. These common, painful, challenging situations often require skilled, focused intervention.
Jess' work is steady, direct and emotionally attuned. Sessions are structured and active, helping partners to not only understand what is happening between them, but, more importantly, how to change it in real time.
Approach
Jess' practice is structured and focused, active and collaborative. Sessions are active and collaborative, with an emphasis on helping partners recognize and interrupt automatic patterns that drive conflict and disconnection.
Rather than focusing solely on insight, Jess helps couples to work directly with moment-to-moment interactions, building and reinforcing the skills required for repair, regulation, and secure functioning.
Different therapeutic models offer different strengths. Jess' approach integrates her extensive training, clinical experience, and what she has found consistently effective in real-world relationship work.
Jess is a trained Psychobiological Approach to Couples' Therapy (PACT) provider (Level 3).
PACT is the main modality in which she frames her work.
Jess also frequently integrates ideas from her comprehensive training in other modalities
to make relationship sessions even more impactful. This training includes:
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Toni Herbine Blank's Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFS Level 2, IFIO Level 1)
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Martha Kauppi's Addressing Sexual Issues in Psychotherapy (Level 2)
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Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson's Developmental Model
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John and Julie Gottman's work
How It Works
Head: Learn Frameworks,
Co-Construct The Relationship You Want
Partners build a shared understanding of what is happening between them, and learn to figure out what they want to happen, instead.
Using ideas from evolutionary psychology, particularly Attachment Theory, Polyvagal Theory, Neuroscience, and others, partners orient and gain the capacity to name what's happening.
More importantly, partners build vision and confidence that they can build something better - together.
Heart: Access Empathy and Warmth
When our relationships have been in conflict, it's hard to feel safe. When we don't feel safe, it's hard to be warm and understanding.
Working with Jess can offer containing safety and clarity for how a partnership can work. This stability opens the door for reconnecting as people who care about each other, and are safe enough with each other to express that care.
Hands: Embody Care
Ideas and empathy are lovely, but at the end of the day, what matters most is how you treat each other.
Jess' work allows partners to explore what works for the other, including intentional focus on the subtle things we do that, if we shifted, could signal more safety and care for our partner. Jess employs fun, low-stakes exercises to practice important interactive skills involving tone of voice, touch, and even how we use and interpret each other's faces.
Partners don't have the luxury of neutral interactions; so we can (and must) learn how to make our interactions consistently and intentionally positive.
Relationships - Frequently Asked Questions
Methods Matter
Just like there are lots of therapists, there are also lots of different kinds of therapy.
Jess is a trauma-responsive practitioner trained modalities that reduce symptoms
and increase clients' skills and agency.
Most importantly, Jess practices in ways that prioritize clients' values, autonomy, and choice.
The individual modalities that inform Jess' relationship work include:
EMDR
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a structured protocol to engage the whole brain. It's particularly useful for healing PTSD, but is also impactful for anxiety, depression, and many other challenges.
IFS
Internal Family Systems (IFS) supports clients to build caring relationships with themselves while cultivating what found Dr. Schwartz named "The 8 C's": calm, clarity, confidence, courage, curiosity, connectedness, compassion and creativity.
Somatic Regulation
Somatic Regulation helps shift the impact that mental health has on our nervous system. Guided by Polyvagal Theory, we can incorporate awareness and exercises to support
mind-body integration.
This integration can help us
to feel safe and calm.
In addition to the main approaches above, Jess is also trained in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mindfulness-Based CBT, Psychodynamic and Narrative therapies. Jess also actively pursues ongoing learning about womanist multicultural theory and pre-colonial indigenous healing ways, which she utilizes when appropriate and with permission from both cultural teachers and clients.